I received so many hate messages because I’m fat that I almost started to hate my body again

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Ever since I landed an amazing job at Revelist.com I have been lucky enough to make videos that help explain the experience of being a fat person in this world. You can find sarcastic videos like the day I found out I was fat to videos with deeper messages like – not allowing the number on a scale define who you are.

The mission of my blog was to help myself be a much bolder person. I wanted to be the person I knew I was on the inside. I turned that around and I used my biggest “flaw” and made it into a career.

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As the success of the videos increased so has the hate.  I have never been someone who lingers on the negative. I’ve always been upbeat and happy. But I would be a complete liar if I didn’t say that hate messages and comments have been taking a toll on my self-confidence. For the past few months, I have had a hard time looking at myself in the mirror. The constant battle of reminding myself that I am enough gets harder when strangers online tell you that you aren’t.

The result of these messages and comments have made it hard for me to truly accept my body like I once did. It hurts me to say that because it makes me feel like I let them win.

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I didn’t realize how much it was affecting my self-esteem until I started going through these images I shot with my friend Stephanie Nadia. All I could see was my fuller belly. I was ready to delete those images and shoot an outfit that would be “flattering.”

I asked myself, why? Why should I hide my body just because others may think it’s unflattering? Regardless if I want to lose weight or not I deserve respect and to feel proud of who I am. I worked so hard to be as confident as I am. I get hundreds of messages daily from men and women of different walks of life thanking me for introducing them to a new world of self-love and body positivity. This was the reason why I decided to make this my career. If seeing my body and videos can help at least one person a day to feel better about themselves than it is all worth it.

So, as long as YOU want to read my words and watch my videos I will continue to make them. This is a reminder to all of you who may be having a hard time accepting and loving your body. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your body and you don’t need to apologize. 

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Most items I am currently wearing are sold out. Check the links below for items that are similar.

Jacket: Old Navy sold out but similar one here.

Top: Old navy in stripes available here.

Jeans: Forever21

Shoes: Asos similar here.

Bag: Lovesick similar here.

Hat: Similar here.

3 days in heaven

 

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I told you I wouldn’t be far for too long!

For those of you who have been following me on my Instagram, you might have already seen some pictures from my little getaway to Cape Cod.

So, Catherine’s kidnapped me, Alexandria and Loey for three days and two nights. It had been quite a while since my last vacay.  This was much needed.

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On my first day, Kellie Brown gave me a tour of the place and fed me until I couldn’t have another bite.

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Just looking at this picture makes me hungry. Feed me, Kellie Brown, feed me!

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This window entry was probably one of my favorite places to chill at. We took turns sitting there. #ComfyAF

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Our view was much more than I could have ever asked for. It was my first time ever at Cape Cod.

I did not waste time and I put my bathing suit on. Normally, this isn’t a swimsuit I would wear but I am so glad I did. I was feeling adventurous when I picked it out.

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Look at all those pretty colors! I am actually truly obsessed with this bathing suit.

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I had never felt so comfortable in a swimsuit in my life. The first time I wore a swimsuit I decided to go for a two-piece. This time, my swimsuit had color in it! It’s all about the baby steps you can take to make yourself much bolder and confident every day.

I wore the swimsuit until it was time to go to bed. Yup, I was that comfortable in it.

Day 2

After a quick first day, I was more than excited to see what they had planned out for us. Did I mention all activities planned for us were a secret?!

After a quick breakfast, we went on a sand dune tour. JESSICATWO_4

And of course, we stopped to take some pictures of my dress! This was probably my favorite look of all.

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Alex, Loey and I spent the tour laughing and taking pictures. To be honest, I did not hear half of what the tour guide was telling us. I was just there to relax and play in the sand. Like the 5-year-old that I am.

 

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After jumping around like a crazy maniac in the sand with Alex, we went to the center of the city and grabbed some food. Oh yeah, and some yummy ice cream!

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Once we got home we pretty much ran to our rooms and put our swimsuits on. Like they say in spanish “en el mar la vida es mas sabrosa!”

This was our last full day here. We were surprised with a sailing trip!

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We were all pretty tired from the full day. The sailing trip was a perfect touch to sooth us down.

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I will say that I am a boss ass bitch. I volunteered to take pictures at the edge of the boat.  Did I mention that I can’t swim? LOL

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It was oooooh sooooo worth it. I look hella good in this shot.

Day 3:

On the last day of the best getaway ever, we just chilled by the porch, and took in the wonderful view.

Thank you guys for reading. Let me know which look was your favorite?

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Everything I wore here.

Alex wardrobe here.

Loey’s looks here:

 

All photos were taking by the amazing Lydia Hudgens! Check her work out here.

 

 

 

Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by Catherines. All opinions and thoughts are mines. 

 

So much has happened…

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Photo: Instagram/HeyRevelist

So many things have happened! I needed to update you guys on everything and what’s next. Are you ready? Here we go…

First of all I missed you all so much. As mentioned before, I now work for Revelist.com!

Working at Revelist has been such an amazing experience. I managed to land my dream job as a fashion and body positive reporter.You have probably seen my work online like this video:

or this, this and that one:

 

Us after every meal 😂 #lifehacks #foodbaby #bodypositive

A post shared by Revelist (@heyrevelist) on

 

As a creative person there could be no better outlet then making videos. The best part? The feedback has been amazing.

Many of you must have seen Dove’s latest campaign #MyBeautyMySay. And yes, that’s me in the campaign!

Dove hit me up months ago and asked me to be part of their campaign. I jumped on the opportunity. They came over to my house to film. My family was as ecstatic about it as I was.

If you have not seen the campaign check it out here and my personal clip here:

I hope I’m not missing anything. I will be making a video to talk about my Dove campaign on my Youtube channel. Also, stay tuned to see more of my videos for Revelist.com and make sure to like our Facebook page here.

There is so much more to come and I can not wait to share it with you all.

You might see me in a magazine next month.

*Wink wink*