Ever since I started blogging I constantly get asked: “How did you become so confident?” And like a broken record, I always reply that I did it by challenging and pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
I always encouraged people to do something that scares them. The more you push yourself out of your comfort zone the more confident you become. But lately, it began to feel like a lie.
Before blogging I absolutely hated myself and my body. I spent years unlearning the self-hate I had. I later met people in my life that encouraged me to feel comfortable no matter what size I was. I tried various ways and techniques to help me feel confident.
Surrounding yourself with people who encourage you emotionally, mentally and physically is extremely important.
One of the things that worked for me was to look into a mirror and compliment my body and remind myself that I was beautiful because I said I was.
credit: Revelist
I then pushed my myself out of my comfort zone by wearing crop tops and two-piece swimsuits. Knowing that my body would be picked at and criticized by strangers made this so scary.
It was nerve-wracking but I knew that I had to do it. My palms would get clammy and my heart would beat so fast I was practically working out.
After a while, that lost its enchantment. I no longer feared what others would say about my body. I was playing it safe. How could I preach something I wasn’t doing?
I knew I needed something that was going to shake me and challenge my self-confidence.
While I was away with Catherine’s on a mini vacay in Savannah, I was pushed out of my comfort zone and I did something I had been avoiding for years.
They’d asked me to take some pictures while wearing only my lingerie. I knew ahead of time I was going to do it but it wasn’t until I started shooting that it hit me. I was going to be practically naked online for millions of people to see.
We spent a good 15 minutes shooting me in my underwear and having Lydia Hudgens, the photographer, compliment me and hear the other girls say how amazing it looked made me feel like a true goddess. I got so hyped and loved the images that I dragged Kellie Brown to take a picture in her undies too!
Kellie suggested that we post the picture on Instagram since we looked so hot. I nearly shat on my brand new Catherine’s underwear.
I sat at the dining table with my girlfriends – biting my nails to the nubs – while they encouraged me to do so. This was the scariest thing I had done in years. After remembering how important it is to see bodies that are not conventionally acceptable by society I decided to hit publish.
I needed to be that example for young girls like me who hated their bodies because their bellies were bigger. I needed to be the role model I needed when I was younger.
Even within the body positive world where we claim to be accepting of all bodies, it tends to neglect women who look like me. We prefer to showcase bodies that are flattering. The truth is that we don’t all have a small little waist and big butts.
I recently saw the final products and I am so happy I did it.
When I was looking at the picture before posting all I could focus was on how big my stomach was. But my body is as sexy and as valuable as any other body.
What has been a milestone you are proud of? Let me know in the comments below. To see everything I did and wore during my trip to Georgia click here.
